What I Wish I Knew Before... Baby

There are so many things people don't tell you about parenting. Sure, you get a lot of unsolicited advice but you are either a. not listening or b. they are glossing over some things. Now, I am not saying that had I known these things, I would have thought twice about having a child. Absolutely not. However, I may have been a bit more prepared.

Top 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having a Baby

10.The days are long but the months are short 

Some days, by the end of the day I want to pull my hair out. Especially Mondays. I am not sure what it is, but Baby G can sense that its a Monday and she wants daddy. Nothing around the house gets done, and I just try to survive. But then I blink and she is almost 6 months old. How in the world did that even happen? She was a tiny little thing 2 seconds ago. On the days where I wonder if my house will ever be clean again or if I will ever get to (blank) again, I realize that time will go much faster than I realize and I can just live in the moment. She won't be little forever.

9. The exhaustion is like pulling an all nighter... every night 

All I am saying is I haven't slept well since I was 3 months pregnant. I don't think I will for a long time. And I don't drink caffeine.... the energy crisis is real folks. Oh, and if I hear "Sleep when the baby sleeps" one more time (angry fist-shake). Its not that simple.

8. Mom Guilt/Mom Shame/ Mom Anxiety 

So, I kind of knew about this.... but oh my goodness is it a whole lot bigger when you are actually a mother. When Baby G was born, I was crippled with anxiety. I have never really had that type of anxiety before. I'd been nervous, sure, but never this overwhelming fear. Luckily, John was there to help me through it, and I got over it.  But... the Mom Shame is real. Like my lovely Mother In Law said, create your own opinion, and you can find someone out there who will agree with you (I'm paraphrasing, but its the gist). To vax or not to vax, to breastfeed or formula feed, baby lead weaning or purees, sleep train or co sleep or somewhere in between?? We are faced with so many choices as mothers on a daily basis and there is no shortage of people that will tell you exactly what they think. Its hard to break through sometimes... which brings me to my next point.

7. Trust your mom gut 

 YOU are your baby's mother. Not your mom, not your friend who lives down the street. Not random ladies on the internet and not "doctors" or "experts" writing books. YOU. You know your baby, and you are its mother for a reason.  Now, I am all for doing research, but there comes a time when you have to get rid of the noise and trust that you know what you are doing and what is right for your child.

6. Netflix is your new best friend 

At least in the beginning... or if your baby is anything like mine! My baby girl will fall asleep eating and doesn't stop just because she is asleep! So, I get in a lot of Netflix while she's dream feeding. And in the early days... That's literally all babies do. Sleep, eat, repeat.

5. You will shower a lot less 

And probably smell more thanks to hormones! Showers are a magical place... when I  finally get one, sometimes I don't want to get out!

4. Breastfeeding is a whole new ballgame

To my pregnant friends... two pieces of advice with this one... 1. Look up breastfeeding troubleshooting and general tips NOW. I had really just kinda knew that I wanted to and knew the basic cradle hold. Luckily, I had an amazing lactation consultant (bonus tip: ask for your lactation consultant quickly after birth)  and 2. Join a supportive group. I found a wonderfully supportive group of women on Facebook and it has saved me a bunch of worry!

3. Its hard 

I won't lie. Is it worth it? Absolutely.  Is it an adjustment? Yes. Can anything prepare you? Absolutely not.

2. Babies spit up... A LOT

Okay, this totally freaked me out. Baby G does have some issues with dairy at the moment so, laying off the dairy did help some. However, new born babies just spit up. Generally, it's more of a laundry problem than proof of something wrong

1. Babies cry

This sounds dumb. But,  it's the number one thing I wish someone had told me. BABIES CRY. That is their way of communicating. It does not mean you are doing anything wrong or that you are not a good parent. It means your baby is trying to tell you something. You are learning each other. Take heart.

One Decision Changed My Life Forever

There is a quote by Thomas S Monson that I think of often. He said, "Decisions determine destiny." I think about that a lot... usually because I find it hard to make decisions. Well, the big ones anyway... and some of the small ones, let's be real.  I don't care to count how many times I have had this conversation: Oh, I don't care where we go... just not there or there or.... So yeah, making decisions and taking ownership of them is something I definitely need to work on. But recently, I was thinking about how I have already seen it in my life. What decisions did I make that got me to where I am now? What would my life be like if I had not made those decisions?

Source: Simple As That

 One of the biggest decisions I feel we can make in this life is deciding who to choose as a friend. In high school, a whole bunch of kids are thrown together and you tend to make friends with those who you are stuck with.  There doesn't always seem to be much choice in the matter. I'll admit it... I did not make the best friend choices in high school. Not that my friends were particularly "bad" or anything... but they weren't lasting friendships. Plus some of them didn't share my values. This can be okay, and work sometimes, obviously not everyone is going to share your views and beliefs on everything,  but it does put a bit of a strain on the relationship if it's a big enough chasm. If I would have made different choices in high school, I think I would be a different person. Perhaps more sheltered. Perhaps more trusting... but who knows? I could have ended up with friends who pressured me into doing things I didn't want to do, and luckily, that didn't happen. 

I do know one thing for sure. If I had not chosen to follow the little voice in my head, the little whisper to my heart that told me to pick up the phone and talk to John after months of not speaking, and John had not chosen to go on a date with me... I would be a completely different person. And I don't know that the current me would like that alternate version of who I would have become. That single decision changed my life for the better. It changed my eternal destiny. 

Not every choice you make will be a good one, but "decisions determine destiny" so be cautious... and whatever you do, please listen to the still small voice of the Holy ghost. I can guarantee you that those are the choices that will have the greatest reward in determining your destiny. 

28 Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do"

Photo Cred: Shea Brianne Photography

As many of you know, I got married young. I was only 20 years old when John and I tied the knot. People kept telling me that I was too young to be married, and still do. But, I was and am confident in my decision. I'm confident not only because I married a man who I am totally in love with and is my best friend; but also because we made sure we wanted similar things out of life before we tied the knot. 

You can love someone as much as you want, but if you don't agree on the big issues and neither one of you is willing to budge it's just not going to work out. 

John and I went through lists like this before we got married but I didn't really like any of them because they were redundant.  Good info, but asked the same sorts of questions over and over again. 

Photo Cred: Dawn Photography

So, here is the readers digest version of what you really need to know about your significant other before you get married. 

Kids

• Do you want kids? How many? 
• Relative time frame you want to start having kids? (20's? 30's? etc.)
• How do you want to raise them? 
• What are acceptable discipline practices? (Spanking vs. not spanking, etc.)
• What are your thoughts on stay at home parenting?

Life Goals

• What kind of a house do you want to live in? 
• Where would you like to or hate to live? 
• How much travelling do you want to do?  
• How successful do you want to be? 
• How successful do you expect your spouse to be?
• What is success to you?

Career Goals

• What do you want to do with your life? Can you do that where you live?
• Are you and your potential spouses career goals compatible? 
• Can you support your spouses career goals and choices?
• How much money do you want to make? 
• How much money do you think your spouse should make? 
• How many hours  do you want to/ are willing to work? 
• How much do you expect your spouse to work?

Money

• How are you going to manage your finances? 
• Who is going to be in charge of what?  
• Do you want joint or individual bank accounts? 
• What would an acceptable budget look like for you? 
• Are you a spender or a saver? Are you willing to compromise on that? 
• How are you going to handle large purchases?
• What are your thoughts on being or not being the "breadwinner"? 

Misc.

• What are your feelings on pets? 
• How clean do you keep/ expect your future spouse to keep your house? 
• And finally . . . What are your expectations of this marriage? Are they reasonable and realistic?

I hope you find these useful! These questions may even be good to go over if you are already married to ensure you and your spouse are on the same page. (Especially that last one). The most important thing is to be open and honest.  Both about your wants/needs and your willingness to compromise. You may find yourself changing your mind about some things after some open and honest conversations with your significant other and that's okay! Just make sure you are not pushing your thoughts and feelings down because your "so in love" because these issues will pop up later!

How to Be Happy

Let's face it, we all have our grumpy days... or weeks... sometimes even months. But, I have some great news for you... We don't have to!  That's right, we don't have to be unhappy. There is nobody to blame for our own unhappiness but ourselves. Do you know why? 

Happiness is a choice. 

Happiness is a choice we must make each and everyday. 



I just made being happy sound much less glamours, didn't I? But, why? Happiness is just as good, if not better when its not this elusive thing that only happens when the circumstances around you call for it. Owning your own happiness? Now, that is inspiring. That's where I want to be. 

If you are anything like me, then, you may know that this is easier said than done. Life gets in the way, as it so often does. I know that I've been told this before, believed this before and yet I still let myself get caught up in the whiny, irritable, annoyed rut. I'm not consciously choosing to be irritable and whiny, but I'm not consciously choosing any emotion. I am letting my emotions control me. 

Isn't it about time that we turn that around? Isn't it time that we take control of our emotions rather than having them control us? I think so! 

But how? How do you choose to be happy? 

Well, really, you just tell yourself that you are going to be happy and you do not let anything get in your way. You don't let stress affect you, you let things go, you choose to focus on the positive rather than the negative. Easy, right? Yeah, not so much... Here are somethings that can help you along your journey while you are choosing happiness. 

Believe It's Possible

If you don't believe that it is possible to control your emotions, then nothing is ever going to change. You are going to stay a slave to your emotions. Don't let them rule you! Who knows how much trouble that can save you when you don't let your emotions rule your life. If you need some convincing, read Max Lucado's Great Day, Every Day. 

(source)

Remember, You Don't Have to Do Anything 

Do you remember my post, The 3 Words I'm Removing From My Vocabulary? One of those was the phrase "have to." You don't have to do anything. You are choosing to do something or choosing to accept the consequences. If you can't deal with the consequences, then that is your choice. Just knowing this, and reminding myself of this takes a load of pressure off of me. It also just makes me feel better about my life. I feel more in control. I am choosing to go to work, to do the laundry, etc. etc. It also makes you realize why you do certain things, which somehow makes them less awful. Even though we know in the back of our minds that we do laundry not because the hamper is full, but so that we have clean clothes to wear, it is still nice to consciously recognize it. 

In the Morning, Convince Yourself that Today Will Be Awesome

I just love this How I Met Your Mother Quote (source): 

This sums up how we should be in the mornings. We are tired, we may not really want to do anything but crawl back into bed. But, while we are sluggishly getting ready for our day we can be positive. Back when we were dating, John would always text me in the morning and say "Are you ready for an awesome day?" and I was always lifted by that positivity, and I know he was too. And sometimes, that's all it takes. So, in the morning, ask yourself or someone else: Are you ready for an awesome day? Or simply say to yourself, today is going to be a great day! 

Be Grateful 

I love things like #100HappyDays because it reminds me to be grateful each and everyday. To find joy in the small pleasures in life. If something like the #100HappyDays challenge works for you, go for it. If not, just take a moment everyday or at least once a week to count your blessings. If you feel like you don't have many blessings to count, read or watch this talk by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. Really just read it anyway, its beautiful. I mean, look at this stellar quote (source) 

Set Reminders 

Have you seen this thing going around where people are putting hearts around their houses to remind themselves to treat their children with love and respect? Why not do that in your journey for everyday happiness not defined by circumstances? Put up anything that will help you remember to CHOOSE happiness, and preferably makes you smile. Maybe you need smiley faces all over your house. Go for it. 

Love and Laughter is Always the Best Medicine 

I can't stay mad at John. It's almost physically impossible. Not because he's always right, but because when I'm mad at him, he somehow makes me laugh and suddenly, I'm not as mad. Now, problems still need solving of course, but being able to control my anger and not let it cloud my judgement is a plus. Sometimes you just need a laugh, and sometimes you just need a hug. Laughs and love can save any cloudy day. 

Stop Stressing

A little stress is good, true, but too much and most of us will turn into snappy irritable monsters! Don't let little things stress you out. Be a duck, and let it roll off your back. Take a moment to breathe. We are human, we make mistakes, dishes get piled up in the sink, laundry hampers get full and left unfolded. It's OKAY. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Trust me, that will make you 50% happier instantly! 

Ironically enough, this post should have gone up yesterday but, I lost everything in the middle of my blog post but, instead of letting it stress me out, I decided to enjoy my evening with my hubby instead

Exercise, Sleep, Eating Right

This is said over and over again but that's because it works. I know you all know this so, I'm just going to leave this one with this:  


(source)

Don't let anything rain on your parade. Let's remember to choose happiness everyday! 




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Crimes of Passion: Three Common Misconceptions

I have to be honest with you,  I've committed crimes of passion.  No, I have never killed or even hit someone in am act of passionate rage.  I do not lead a life of that kind of crime. However I've come to realize I've had some pretty large misconceptions about this thing called passion... of the non-romantic variety.   

• Misconception number one: A passion is something you automatically are aware of. 

For a while, in my adult life,  I was struggling to figure out what my passions were. I liked and even loved a lot of things, but I didn't have that one thing that despite not wanting to do anything else, I'd want to do that. That is, until I discovered knitting.

I say discovered knitting, but really I had known about it since I was a kid. My grandma even tried to teach me but I was too young and impatient to learn much about needle crafts. She taught me to crochet, and I liked that for a while, but gave up on it. So, one day as I was scrolling through etsy, I decided, hey, I could probably make that cheaper! So, I called up my friend to teach me how to knit, and as they say the rest is history. When I first picked up that pair of needles and knitted my first row,  I was ecstatic.  Something came over me and I wanted to knit all the time. In that first lesson my friend taught me how to knit and purl. She was going to teach me more the next time we got together but, I just couldn't wait that long so, I logged on to YouTube and went wild.

 I tell you this to tell you that you are not born knowing your passions or what you may be good at. And, there could be something you tried when you were younger that you didn't appreciate then, that is your passion now. Of your not born knowing, how do you discover your passions?

1. Try new things. This is cliché for a reason. Trying new things is the only way to truly discover whether or not something is a passion. If it's not, at east you learned a fun new skill!

2. Delve deeper into things you are already interested in. For instance, I've always been interested in fashion and home decor, but not enough to be an interior decorater or a high fashion designer. However, there are loads upon loads of things i can knit for me, my friends, my family, and I can maybe even open up a shop one day.

• Misconception number two: You don't have to be dedicated

When I was younger, I knew that I had a passion for reading and writing. Don't get me wrong, I still love reading and writing, but my passion is no where near as strong as it used to be. When I was younger,  I would describe the world around me as if from the pages of a book. The problem was that I rarely ever wrote these things down. In high school, I'd still write occasionally and I'd write some pretty embarrassing poems. Then, i got a boyfriend and i slowed down drastically.  I'm not saying that it's his fault, or that you can't have a significant other, that's just what happened to me. In college,  I barely wrote for fun at all, excepting my blog. In short, I became lazy. I didn't use my passion. Sure, I wrote papers for school, but that was it. By not using my passion, not only did I loose some of my talent for it (fiction is hard!). I knew I had a passion for writing, but knowing is not enough. I needed to act on it while it was strong so I didn't decrease my passion.

• Misconception number three: You don't have to try/learn your passion. 

You hear about all these people that have played the (insert musical instrument here) since they were three, and they're a prodigy.  I took all of these and was under the impression that if you have a passion, you have had to be able to do it since you were a child,  and that it was something that you just automatically knew how to do. Both of these things cannot be farther from the truth. You can discover new passions at any time in your life. And, like anything else, to do your best, you'll need/want to learn everything you can about it. For instance, with knitting, I didn't develop that passion until I was 20, and I had to learn how to do it. I am still learning new techniques and stitches all the time. Your passion will not be something you just know how to do, it will be something that you will learn about constantly.

If you know what your passion is, take time to really work on it and develop it.

If you don't know what your passion is,  I suggest you start trying new things related to things you are already interested in. Take time to discover what you are passionate about, it will change your life. 

The Silent Marriage Killer

Let's be honest, the divorce rate in America is ridiculously high. About 50%. It seems like at least once a week we hear about some famous couple getting a divorce. The most common reason? Irreconcilable differences. Most of the time, what this means to me is the couple grew apart and just doesn't get along anymore.

So, are those of us that do get married and think our love will last forever just kidding ourselves? Are we just being hopeless romantics doomed for failure? I don't think so, but I think there are some things we need to realize. I think what we all need to realize (and I would do well to remember) is that relationships take work. Sometimes a lot of work. Fairy tales and romantic comedies don't usually dive into happily ever after. Happily ever afters do exist, it just takes effort. It's not this magical thing that happens once you get married that means you'll never fight, or that you'll never have to work on yourself or your marriage.

I think what happens to most couples is that they feel like they've "grown apart". But what does that mean? How does it happen? Think about it in terms of friends from high school. You probably have some friends from high school that you don't really talk to anymore for no other reason than you went in different directions. Different schools, different jobs, whatever. But you probably have some friends that you still have from high school that went in a different direction, but you've remained close, or at least friends. So, what's the difference? Either one or both of you did or did not put forth any effort into the relationship by calling, emailing, texting, writing, etc. It's that simple. We make excuses for it, but it is what it is. We did not put forth enough effort to continue to get to know our friends and the relationship faltered.The same thing can happen in marriage in an emotional level.

A complaint often heard is, "he's/she'snot the same man/woman I married. Well of course not! I for one hope I have changed after 1 year, let alone 5, 10, or 20. I am not the same person I was a year ago and that's a good thing. The hard part is making sure you and your spouse are growing together. While it's true that people change, growing apart can be prevented. Depending on your situation, this could be super simple, or require a little more effort. But basically, take time to get to know your spouse. I know some people who like to have "interviews" with their kids as they're growing up to keep in touch and up to date with their kids ever changing and growing favorites, opinions, goals, and dreams.

Just we've hit adulthood doesn't mean we've automatically hit the brakes on evolving. We are changing each and everyday. Make sure to keep up to date with your spouse as well with your kids. If it takes having a scheduled "interview" with your spouse then do it! Take time to really listen and pay attention to each other. Remember you were dating and one of the things the magazines would tell you to do was to bring up something that you talked about previously? Like, hey how did your game go? Well, why should that stop? Just because you live together doesn't mean that you know everything that goes on. Try your best to remember details from previous conversations and bring them up later. Not only will it show that you care, but it will help deepen your understanding of each other.

 Monthly or weekly date nights will help with this problem as well, though make sure you have time to talk on your date nights and aren't just going to the movies every time and not taking time to talk before and after. If you and your spouse are both attached to your cell phones and tablets, take time to unplug together and just really focus on each other. And no mean on each other. Kids are very important, but take in these special moments together try to not talk about the kids and their accomplishments. This is time to continue to learn about your ever changing and evolving spouse, not your children. You and your spouse should be consistently learning new things about each other. I know sometimes with other time commitments it can be hard to find the time. But find it, isn't your marriage worth it?

Top 10 Things I've Learned in One Year of Marriage

Nobody's marriage is perfect. It's never going to be, and that's okay.  But you can learn and grow and make your marriage grow each and every day. Now, some of these things I need to listen to my own advice and do better at. But marriage, much like life, is a work in progress.

10. It's okay to fight.

John is fond of saying that if you never fight or argue, someone's lying. The key is not to not fight but to resolve the issues, and the root if the problem and forgive quickly.

9. Date Nights are important.

Date nights are too difficult for us right now since we don't have kids, but they are still greatly cherished.  It's just great to return to the feelings of when you first got together. It adds a little romance in your life that can sometimes be lacking in the day to day routine. Even if your just going to a movie.

8. Go to bed at the same time.

You will never stop learning about your significant other.  You'll both change and grow and you have a lifetime to catch up on. Going to bed at the same time leaves an opportunity for pillow talk. For some reason in this before bed sleepy state, deeper conversation seem to happen. In these moments you'll learn a lot about each other. .. just don't be mad if they fall asleep in the middle of a sentence.

7. Talk good behind his or her back

Talking positive about your husband or wife in public will definitely help at home. By focusing on the positive,  not only will other people not bring up negative things about your significant other and dig up buried issues and it will help you not to feel so negative about them when things do go wrong. Think about it: if you complain about your significant other all day, when you go home you'll already be annoyed at them before they have even done anything because you've been dwelling on the negative all day. Whereas if you talk positively about your significant other then when you get home you'll be less likely to snap because you've been dwelling on the positive.

 

6. Limit Nagging

I've learned that I nag. Alot. When I realized this I made an effort not to and I learned something.  Nagging is not reminding your significant other to do something, but reminding them to do it in an irritated tone and/or harsh words. You don't know what is going on in their heads so, it is inaccurate to suppose just because they haven't done something yet means they are not going to or forgot. When you do want to remind them to do something be sure you're not accusing them. Saying "you haven't done this yet, why not?" sounds a lot less pleasant than "honey, are you still planing on doing xyz today?" But of course, watch your tone as well.

5. The implementation of "fun money" will stop a lot of arguments.

Basically fun money is money each person gets each month to do whatever they want with and the other person cannot say anything about it.  You can also save up for something big. This is great for things that you don't need but want and may otherwise be fought over. The amount can be however much you can afford per month. This practice has helped us tremendously.

4. Show Gratitude.

This is really important but is over looked alot. We take our significant others for granted.  We forget to thank them for the small and large things that they do on a daily basis. If you want to show your gratitude by giving gifts on ocassion, that's great but a simple thank you hug and smile will work wonders as well. It feels good to feel appreciated. When John and I noticed that we were both lacking in the appreciation department we made a conscious effort to show more appreciation to each other and it's made all the difference. 

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Respect your significant other at home and in private. Respect their decisions,  even if you don't agree (save if they are doing something illegal!  Ha). Just all in all treat each other with respect. 

2. Communication is key.

Sometimes I find this hard as I don't quite know how to communicate what I'm feeling but it really does help to get it all out in the open. Communication involves listening as well as talking.  It also involves how you communicate ( preferably in a loving tone) and communicating positive feelings (all those I love yous).

1. Understand that you are different people. 

This may seem obvious but hear me out. It is vitally important to your marriage to understand that you and your significant other are different people with different personalities, character traits,  habits,  experiences, etc. Realize that you will approach things differently,  different things will bother you and your life will be a lot easier when you acknowledge and respect that.

Days of Kailey Past

Were you one of the people that helped X-Men: Days of Future Past a smash at the box office this weekend?

Well I was. It was well worth it to see in theaters instead of waiting for it to come out on redbox. 

Despite what you may be thinking, this will not be a review. On that front all I am going to say is despite some continuity issues with the timeline and such, it's an excellent movie and I would recommend that you go see it. Though, it will make more sense to you if you have seen previous movies. 

*Spoiler Alert* There is a scene in the movie where young Professor X gets to talk to the older and wiser Professor X, and old Professor X gives this really great speech to inspire his younger self. 

It got me thinking, what would I say if I could talk to my younger self. Would I tell myself to not date someone because of the eventual heartbreak? Would I try to change anything?

 Or would I simply give myself hope. Telling my younger self that life will not turn out the way I my thirteen year old mind is planning it, but that it will all work out for the best. 

Would I try to convince myself to not be such a people pleaser, and do what I want to do (being respectful still, of course). 

Would I give myself confidence?

Would I tell myself to not be so boy crazy? 

Honestly, I am not sure what I would say, but I do know this:

I would not change a thing. Sure, looking back on my life now I see things that I wish I would have done differently or that I would have chosen differently. I can see personality traits that developed that maybe I would try to weaken (people pleasing only, low self-worth). 

But all of these things lead me to where I am now.
They made me the person that I am now. 
I still have struggles, and I am working to make my life better each and every day.
But you know what? I am pretty darn happy and I wouldn't want to risk that if I made different choices, I wouldn't be where I am now. 

Life is a learning experience. We learn from the choices that we make and our circumstances, good or bad. If we can take those experiences and have them mold us, shape us, and help us create a more joyful, fulfilling life then I am all in. 

Life's Little Lessons: Priorities

I have some shocking news for you all.

I am not my first priority. . . and neither is my husband. 

and guess what? I'm not his. 

If I had kids, they wouldn't be my first priority either. My Lord and Savior and Heavenly Father are my first priority.

Does that mean I don't care about myself, my husband, or my future kids? Of course not! They are still priorities, just not my number one. They are all important.  

My priorities go a little something like this... God, John, (kids would go here),Family,  Friends, Me. and so on and so forth. 

Does this mean I let others walk all over me? No. Not for the most part, and when I do, its not because of misplaced priorities, its just because of my people pleasing personality. 

If I was in a harmful situation, then of course I should get out of it, even if its done by one of my higher priorities. 

The wonderful thing about priorities is that they all fall into each other like a Russian Doll. God doesn't want me to neglect my husband, my husband wouldn't want me to neglect our kids, our kids will want to see their family, and so on and so forth. 

Additionally, the priorities actually help each other out. If I have a good relationship with my heavenly Father, I will have a better relationship with my husband. Better relationship with my husband equals a better relationship with and example to my future kids, etc. All of which help my mental health.

It is important to keep priorities in perspective.

Especially in this world, where we are lead to believe that grades define us. 

Where being successful means having a big house, a fancy car and a lot of money to blow. 

Where we are constantly bombarded with ads and articles telling us that it is all about us. That we should be our number one priority. 

Can you imagine a world where everyone acted like that? If you don't believe me think of one of the "best" and kindest people you know... or just think of Mother Teresa. Does his or her goodness come from making themselves the priority or from making God and/or others the priority?   

Take a moment today to really ponder what your priorities are. It will help guide you and actually reduce a lot of stress. For instance, being reminded that school isn't my number one priority is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders!

Your priorities don't have to be in the same order as mine, but really think on them and maybe even write them down for future reference. 

P.s. I've decided to call these little rambling posts of mine "Life's Little Lessons"... Even if they aren't lessons for you, they are lessons for me! That I'm either learning or re-learning/emphasizing/remembering. 

The Danger of Pinterest

Don't get me wrong here, I love Pinterest just as much as the next girl. But, I'm realizing that there is a danger hidden away inside of its boards. Sometimes, I find myself feeling bad about myself and my life that its not like what I see on the pins.

I don't have an unlimited amount of cute clothes. Why don't I have cuter clothes? Why do I not have enough money to spend on such pretty dresses?

I could never get my house to look like that.

I don't have a closet just for my shoes. I wish I did.  

Hey, why don't we have a slide in our closet that leads to a pool?

and so on, and so forth.

Sound familiar?

Now, I'm not asking for anyone to boycott pinterest. That would be ridiculous... and hypocritical. Its not the creators fault. And there is so much beauty, inspiration, recipes and great information that can be found on there. Lets be honest here, how many weddings have been planned on pinterest? Yeah, that's what I thought. Its like a one stop shop for anything and everything girly, and now even some manly.

But, we need to be careful.  We need to guard ourselves against the trap that so often we fall into.  Our lives are not a board on pinterest. They are not streamlined with only the best of the best showing through. Our lives are messy. Our lives have the best, the worst and the in-between all poking through. And you know what? That's beautiful. That's incredible, really. Life is such an amazing gift, and if we have the time and resources to be on pinterest, our life is probably a lot better than we realize.

And please, don't fall into the "Thinspiration" or the "Thigh Gap" trap. I see these types of boards and it truly scares me. Motivation to work out is one thing, setting unattainable goals is another. These can lead to dissapointment, depression, and eating disorders. Please realize that you are beautiful already. Work out and eat healthy to make your body healthy and fit, not to achieve a non-existent photoshopped ideal. *Steps off soapbox*

If you think this sounds familiar, that's because it is. This is the same thing as not falling for the trap that can be set by magazines, television, and pretty much any form of media. We are not those women and men, that is not an accurate representation of life. And that is okay. That is wonderful.

So, next time your browsing on pinterest and you fall into the "I wish", "Why Don't I", and the feeling sad/upset/ashamed that its not your life or you can't afford that, I want you to take a moment to remember just how lucky you are. Take a quick inventory of everything you are thankful for in your life. Take a moment to get everything in perspective. Then you can smile, relax, and keep browsing.

Marriages Are Sacred

It makes me sad to see so many marriages failing.

You see it everywhere you turn. On the news, on facebook, etc. 

I realize that no marriage or relationship is perfect and there will always be some (hopefully small) issues. 

I think a major issue a lot of marriages have today is that we forget about the sanctity of marriage. 

I mean, think about it, wouldn't we put forth more effort, try to be more understanding, more loving, and more selfless if we were reminded daily that our marriage is sacred? A sacred promise between us, our spouses, and God. I know I would. 

I would be much more understanding, forgiving, and just all around put more effort into being a better wife. I would make sure that I was building John up and doing everything I could to ensure his spiritual health.

And I know he would be doing the same for me.

Even if you don't believe in God , you still made a promise. A pretty huge one.

A promise to another human being which should not be taken lightly. I think promises these days have lost their meaning but that's a whole other issue. 

Don't get me wrong, we already do these things, but  some-days we forget. I won't speak for John but 

sometimes I get caught up in our own little world and I don't take the time to consider John above myself. Sometimes I don't take into consideration that our marriage is something sacred. Something to constantly improve. Something that takes priority.

And I think we would all do well to remember that.

Thats why I made a picture that I can print out and/or keep on my computer to remind me  daily. Feel free to use it, and print it out, just don't pass it off as your own, please!

What would you do differently if you were reminded daily of the sanctity of marriage?

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The 3 Words I'm Removing From My Vocabulary

As you may know, I've been 'reading' a lot of books recently. One of my most recent reads was this great book called The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It's all about how to stop procrastinating.It was a very enlightening book but there is one thing that he wrote that I just can't get out of my mind... I can't remember the exact phrasing but the gist of it was...

This is a pretty obvious concept. But when I heard it, it was so completely freeing. A weight just lifts off you when  you realize that everything you do, you choose to do.

I choose to do the dishes because I don't want to deal with the stink.

I choose to do my homework because I want to keep my 4.0, and I want to learn.

When I don't feel like doing something, I remind myself that I am choosing to do it, because either I don't want to choose the consequences or because I'm choosing the positives. 

For that reason, I am taking the word "have to" out of my vocabulary. 

This morning, I was watching this great Mormon Message called "Choose This Day" and there was something in there that especially struck me. Henry B. Erying said, "there's a danger in the word someday". And that is so true... I don't want to say that well, someday this will happen. Either that someday is today, or its next week, or next month. But if I just say someday, then most likely its just not going to happen. 

That is why "someday"  will not make it in to my acceptable terms list.

The final word is one I've been thinking about for awhile. Its try. That may seem like an odd one but, I've just found that try is such an empty word.  When I (and most people I know) say the word try, it really means that they'll do something if they feel like it. That may not have been my original intention, but if I've said I'll try to do something, I usually wimp out at it because their was no real commitment made. I know that when I say the word try its usually because I am afraid of failing. But you know what? Its okay to fail.

I will be replacing the word "try" with will, going to, etc. 

What words would you like to see gone from your vocabulary?

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How to Keep Your New Year's Resolutions

Well, its that time of year again. New Years! Time to reflect on the year past, and get ready for the year ahead. 

Some of us use this opportunity to make New Years Resolutions. Personally, I love making resolutions and goals, but I am terrible at keeping them. Thats why this year, I have a plan. 

First, I made my resolutions with this wonderful printable that I found on thirtyhandmadedays, and framed it. 

Then, taking a cue from Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project, I then created a word document setting out my goals with specific tasks that I can do that I can check off daily (or biweekly, like blogging).

And  taking some advice from Shawn Achor of Before Happiness I did added pictures to my desktop to remind me of my goals and inspire me. Check them out on my Goals 2014 pinterest board here. 

I also changed my computer password to remind me of my goals. That way I am constantly reminded of my goals. 

I needed some way to keep track of whether or not I accomplished my goals that day/week so, I downloaded a "weekly assignment calendar" for Microsoft Word. For the "class subject" I used the 6 categories I could put all of my goals under: Spiritual, Health, Observe&Organize, Marriage, Writing, and Lifestyle. 

I printed the goal sheet, and this calendar and put them in a binder.

My plan is to check off the good days with an check mark, the bad with an "x."

Hopefully with all of these tips, you and I can keep our resolutions!

Cheers to a healthy and happy new year! What are your New Years Resolutions? Any tips to to keep them?