28 Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do"

Photo Cred: Shea Brianne Photography

As many of you know, I got married young. I was only 20 years old when John and I tied the knot. People kept telling me that I was too young to be married, and still do. But, I was and am confident in my decision. I'm confident not only because I married a man who I am totally in love with and is my best friend; but also because we made sure we wanted similar things out of life before we tied the knot. 

You can love someone as much as you want, but if you don't agree on the big issues and neither one of you is willing to budge it's just not going to work out. 

John and I went through lists like this before we got married but I didn't really like any of them because they were redundant.  Good info, but asked the same sorts of questions over and over again. 

Photo Cred: Dawn Photography

So, here is the readers digest version of what you really need to know about your significant other before you get married. 

Kids

• Do you want kids? How many? 
• Relative time frame you want to start having kids? (20's? 30's? etc.)
• How do you want to raise them? 
• What are acceptable discipline practices? (Spanking vs. not spanking, etc.)
• What are your thoughts on stay at home parenting?

Life Goals

• What kind of a house do you want to live in? 
• Where would you like to or hate to live? 
• How much travelling do you want to do?  
• How successful do you want to be? 
• How successful do you expect your spouse to be?
• What is success to you?

Career Goals

• What do you want to do with your life? Can you do that where you live?
• Are you and your potential spouses career goals compatible? 
• Can you support your spouses career goals and choices?
• How much money do you want to make? 
• How much money do you think your spouse should make? 
• How many hours  do you want to/ are willing to work? 
• How much do you expect your spouse to work?

Money

• How are you going to manage your finances? 
• Who is going to be in charge of what?  
• Do you want joint or individual bank accounts? 
• What would an acceptable budget look like for you? 
• Are you a spender or a saver? Are you willing to compromise on that? 
• How are you going to handle large purchases?
• What are your thoughts on being or not being the "breadwinner"? 

Misc.

• What are your feelings on pets? 
• How clean do you keep/ expect your future spouse to keep your house? 
• And finally . . . What are your expectations of this marriage? Are they reasonable and realistic?

I hope you find these useful! These questions may even be good to go over if you are already married to ensure you and your spouse are on the same page. (Especially that last one). The most important thing is to be open and honest.  Both about your wants/needs and your willingness to compromise. You may find yourself changing your mind about some things after some open and honest conversations with your significant other and that's okay! Just make sure you are not pushing your thoughts and feelings down because your "so in love" because these issues will pop up later!

Real or Fake? Wedding Flowers 101

There are so many decisions you'll have to make for your wedding, including choosing flowers for just about everything. So, you'll need some things: inspiration and information.

Luckily, I'm going to give you both. 

First, let's go over all of the things you'll need flowers for (let me know if I missed any):

1. Bridal Bouquet

2. Extra Bridal Bouquet to toss (unless you don't want to keep yours.)

3. Bridesmaids Bouquets 

4. Groom's Boutonniere

5. Groomsmen Boutonnieres 

6. Decoration for Wedding (optional)

7. Decoration for Reception (optional)

So, as you can see thats a LOT of flowers!

How do you keep them from clashing or just looking like a wild mess?

I suggest, picking a color (and maybe a complimentary color) and picking a theme or complimentary flowers.

For instance, for my wedding, I chose to stick with the color white for flowers.

I had a white Peony bouquet.

My groom had white orchid.

My bridesmaids had a single long stemmed white peony each.

 And his groomsmen had a less fancy orchid. 

(Photo Credit: Dawn Photography)

For my reception, we were going for a fairy tale theme, so we chose red roses for the table centerpieces. 

So, do some research and pick out a color,theme and/or your favorite flowers. 

Also, while you're doing your research, find out which flowers will be in season the time of your wedding. This will keep the cost down and the smiles up!

Here's a handy link for flowers by season.

Fake or Real?

This is a personal decision that each bride and groom will have to make. Fake or real flowers?

There is no real RIGHT answer, it just depends on what you want.

Fake:

Pro: Cheaper, lasts longer.

Con: Can look "fake".

Real:

Pro: Looks great.

Con: Expensive, can fade/brown/loose petals.

THE BOTTOM LINE: This is your wedding, there are a lot of decisions and ultimately, its up to YOU. Follow some tips, find some inspiration, and make your own plans. It can be overwhelming but just breathe and stay organized, don't worry, you got this!

Put a Ring on It...

Hello there! 

Today, I'd like to discuss rings. Yes, rings is still in the pre-wedding category but, some girls who are a little less girly, and some guys don't know a  whole lot about rings, engagement and wedding rings to be exact. So, consider this a crash course in Engagement/Wedding Ring Shopping, Q and A style. (P.s. I know some of these are pretty basic, but most have been asked to me by a friend.) 

Photo Credit: Dawn Photography

Should I get my finger sized? If so, where should I go? If you and your significant other are talking about getting engaged seriously, then I would highly suggest going ring shopping together. That way, you can get your finger sized and your significant other will know the types of rings you like. Trust me, rings are not one style fits all! And yes, it is important to get your ring sized before the proposal that way, you don't have to take it off for two weeks to have them resize it (trust me, you're not going to want to do that), or have it fly off your finger and loose it like I did. (We did get my finger sized but, they accidentally ordered the wrong size! Thank goodness my husband took out insurance on the ring!). To get it sized, I suggest doing it at one of the stores where you are looking at rings, such as Kays, Zales, or you local jeweler. 

Does it matter if it says its a "promise" ring? Officially, no. I mean, who is really going to know except for you and your future husband? However, because they are not labeled as engagement rings, they do not come in a  wedding set, which means it may be harder to find a  wedding band that fits it or looks good. 

Wait, I have to have a wedding band too? Yes, the way girls rings work is that you have an engagement ring that you wear all throughout the engagement, and then during the ceremony, he puts on the wedding band on top of your engagement ring. Some of them are just plain bands that you can get welded to your engagement ring, or you can get an interlocking band (which is what I did), where the engagement ring and wedding band kind of hook together to create a bigger middle section of the ring. 

So, do I have to buy a set? No, but seeing as you will need both and band and an engagement ring, I would say it is generally easier to buy them in a set. 

What happens if I don't really like a lot of rings at the jewelry stores? Well, most of the places like Zales and Kays will have Create Your Own options where you can choose the band, the diamond size, and have them set it. Also, most places should be able to special order changes to a ring. Like what we did with mine, which was make the middle diamond a circular diamond instead of a marquee and changed the color from gold to white gold. Don't settle on a ring just because you think you have no other options. 

What's the best way to go about ring shopping? Personally, I think the way we did it was great. But, of course, I'm a little biased. What John did was take me shopping, just browsing to kind of see what I liked and what I didn't like. He didn't want me to try anything on yet though. So, we did that for a while... got my ring finger sized, and then he took me into Kays and he had picked out 3 diamond rings for me to try on, and I picked out of those 3 what I liked the best and then he sent me away to do some shopping of my own so that I wouldn't know whether or not he bought it. (I did end up picking the most expensive out of the three! What can I say? I have expensive taste!) I'm not saying that you have to do it exactly like this, but I think both being involved in the process is important, especially for the initial ring shopping and keeping an air of mystery about the ring and the proposal is also important. 

How about the guys? How do I/we pick out his ring? Well, his is a bit easier, since usually its done after the proposal. And, generally speaking, guys don't care as much about the surprise aspect. So, get his ring finger sized and find one that he really likes. I know for us it was important that it was strong and made out of the strongest metal we could find: Tungsten Carbide. He also had opinions about the style of the ring. But basically, he picked it out and I paid for it. Now, you are getting married so, your money is becoming joint so, I don't know if it matters as much who buys his ring but, for me it was important that I did because,  he does so much for me. 

Above All: Pick the ring that's right for you! 

Anymore questions? Leave them for me in the comments below! 

Pre-Wedding...Bliss?

Let's talk about what happens before the actual wedding. 

The proposal is like this high point of excitement and as the first plans take shape its still pretty fresh and you're excited. But then, you start realizing things... like, how much its going to cost to make your dream wedding come true, the fact that its nearly impossible to get your bridesmaids all together in one place or for them to agree on the style and cost of a dress.... and the realization that there are about 200 things that you need to figure out that you haven't even thought about before. 

Not to be a Debbie Downer or anything, but Pre-Wedding is super stressful, especially if you are planning yourself and on a budget. I'm telling all of my friends "Just elope!", however, I know that only 1% of them will actually do it. Most of us have been dreaming about what our wedding will be like since age 10. 

But here's the thing that nobody tells you: It never turns out exactly how you pictured it (unless you're a millionaire, in that case, invite me to your wedding ;) )

Do you want to know a secret? That its okay. Its okay if your wedding isn't perfect. Its okay to be stressed before your wedding. Its okay if one of your bridesmaids flakes out. Its okay if you have to switch maid of honors. Its okay if you have to switch locations. Its okay if you have to pick up your marriage licence the day of the wedding (yes, that happened). 

Because, that moment you walk down the aisle, all that matters is that your groom is standing there smiling (and/or crying), waiting to share your vows so that you can spend the rest of your life together.  

Photo Credit: Dawn Photography