Saturday, September 13, 2014

28 Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do"

Saturday, September 13, 2014
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Photo Cred: Shea Brianne Photography

As many of you know, I got married young. I was only 20 years old when John and I tied the knot. People kept telling me that I was too young to be married, and still do. But, I was and am confident in my decision. I'm confident not only because I married a man who I am totally in love with and is my best friend; but also because we made sure we wanted similar things out of life before we tied the knot. 

You can love someone as much as you want, but if you don't agree on the big issues and neither one of you is willing to budge it's just not going to work out. 

John and I went through lists like this before we got married but I didn't really like any of them because they were redundant.  Good info, but asked the same sorts of questions over and over again. 
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Photo Cred: Dawn Photography


So, here is the readers digest version of what you really need to know about your significant other before you get married. 

Kids

  • Do you want kids? How many? 
  • Relative time frame you want to start having kids? (20's? 30's? etc.)
  • How do you want to raise them? 
  • What are acceptable discipline practices? (Spanking vs. not spanking, etc.)
  • What are your thoughts on stay at home parenting?


Life Goals
  • What kind of a house do you want to live in? 
  • Where would you like to or hate to live? 
  • How much travelling do you want to do?  
  • How successful do you want to be? 
  • How successful do you expect your spouse to be?
  • What is success to you?


Career Goals

  • What do you want to do with your life? Can you do that where you live?
  • Are you and your potential spouses career goals compatible? 
  • Can you support your spouses career goals and choices?
  • How much money do you want to make? 
  • How much money do you think your spouse should make? 
  • How many hours  do you want to/ are willing to work? 
  • How much do you expect your spouse to work?

Money
  • How are you going to manage your finances? 
  • Who is going to be in charge of what?  
  • Do you want joint or individual bank accounts? 
  • What would an acceptable budget look like for you? 
  • Are you a spender or a saver? Are you willing to compromise on that? 
  • How are you going to handle large purchases?
  • What are your thoughts on being or not being the "breadwinner"? 


Misc.
  • What are your feelings on pets? 
  • How clean do you keep/ expect your future spouse to keep your house? 
  • And finally . . . What are your expectations of this marriage? Are they reasonable and realistic?



I hope you find these useful! These questions may even be good to go over if you are already married to ensure you and your spouse are on the same page. (Especially that last one). The most important thing is to be open and honest.  Both about your wants/needs and your willingness to compromise. You may find yourself changing your mind about some things after some open and honest conversations with your significant other and that's okay! Just make sure you are not pushing your thoughts and feelings down because your "so in love" because these issues will pop up later!
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